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Monday, October 6, 2014

Suck it: "A Baby Story"

There is not much I can remember in general, from what I had for breakfast to certain points in my childhood that I probably should remember but I just don't have the mental capacity for such fond memories; which is definitely sad..some of my friends remember their first day of Kindergarten...UM WHAT?!

I do in fact remember the day before and the day of when Drew came into our lives. And just when I am thinking about all the fun times we have had from that day forward, the horrors also come with them. I espeically recall them when I see "A Baby Story" on TLC. Oh the wonders of television...making a 6hr labor seem like 10 minutes of a woman laying in bed smiling, bleeping out all the curse words, or panning away from the father ready to pass out. How I wish I remembered it like that, so blissful, so cut and dry and to the point. Afterwards the woman wiping the one bead of sweat off her face and holding her brand new baby and smiling from ear to ear. The ones I especially like are the ones where the woman is adamant about getting an epidural and come to find out it's too late for it and she's gotta strap on a pair and deal with it, that's more reality I guess...

And let me back up, I had an EASY time..and by easy I mean no C-Section, got an epidural, and no problems with the little one. And let me tell you it still sucked. Like I wonder if I can do it again..I hear maybe the 2nd time is easier?! Here's the breakdown of my labor.

July 4th...everyone is out celebrating and lighting off M80's. I am at home, Matt is at work...I felt kinda crappy come late morning..had some contractions but the timing wasn't on so I took the dogs for a walk and laid on the couch pretty much all day feeling useless. I actually told Matt that day that I thought I was done working...that's how shitty I felt.

Midnight...having slept a few hours I woke up with more sharp contractions and started timing them. First ten minutes apart, then 8 and finally 5. I called the doc around 1am, he told me to wait as long as I could, walk around the house, take a shower etc. Try to relax and when I thought I was ready we could go to the hospital (because they thought I was still 5 days from my due date and I was full of shit).

3am I told Matt we need to go NOW! I was in a lot of pain and the contractions were lasting longer and were every 3-5min.We got to the hospital in about ten minutes and were admitted the smallest room ever for evaluation AND she made me lay flat on my back while she took my vitals and strapped the heart monitor to me and asked me a million questions. That KILLED my back.

4am I am at 1.5cm. WTF! The nurse tells me to start walking around and they will monitor me, if I don't dilate anymore I would have to go home.

4:15am-6am walking the halls with another lady, she is either in alot more pain then me or just expressing it alot more than I am, walking feels good, I grab a handrail when a contraction comes and we are all good in the hood.

6am they check me, I am at a 2, they debate on sending me home, I walk one more lap my mucus plug drops (I thought it was Drew..haha) they check me to make sure he's good and he is. I walk another lap and my water breaks which was like 20 gallons of water I swear, I run to the bathroom embarrassed and tell Matt to get a nurse. She checks to make sure it isn't amniotic fluid and they finally admit me. They again force me to lie on my back which is causing me IMMENSE pain. Back labor is finally here. I grab the wastebasket thinking I'm going to lose whatever is in my system from yesterday but I don't, I just feel like shit. I told Matt next time to get my ass up and get off my back!

7am the nurse asks if I want any meds, I take local...local is putting me to sleep in between contractions, it's awful, I am having weird psycho dreams within a 2 minute time period and it's doing nothing for the pain. Why am I on my back...

7am-10am I don't fricken remember I was in so much parents came in to coach me and were asking me questions I just sat there with my eyes closed and breathing (when I am in pain I am silent which I am sure the nurses appreciated)

10am I can't take it anymore give me the fricken epidural! A nurse comes in to "empty out my bladder" with a catheter...really? can't I just go to the bathroom?! 2 people come in to give it to me and seem to be having a difficult time...I can't really recall I just remember Matt asking them if they were almost done..turns out I have a mild form of scoliosis and they had poked me like 6 times to find the right spot.

11am-12pm I am still in pain but it's a little better w/ the epidural, little did I know I could ask for more..I just thought I was supposed to feel some things! Silly me.

12pm-3pm Pushing...pushing...pushing..passing out in between pushing..

3pm Doc comes in and decides I need an episiotomy...Oh REALLY is that why he isn't coming out?! Jesus I just pushed for 3hrs for what?! I feel the anesthetic she shoots up my hoohah, makes the snip and out comes Drew! I immediately burst into tears...partly from relief that the marathon is over and partly because my little boy is here! I feel her stitch me up and working on getting my placenta out. Finally when that is over they take my catheter out and stuff me full of gauze which is awesome!

Come to find out my epidural was either in the wrong spot or I didn't have enough considering I pretty much still felt everything it just took away some of my back labor which I could have done if I would have just gotten out of that damn bed! Oh well you live and you learn and like I said at least I didn't have a C-section and Drew was 100% well! Well except for his conehead for a few weeks :)

Tell me your stories and one could end up on here!

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