I just want to give a shoutout to all my new moms and up-and-coming moms, it's tough I'm not gonna lie, but the rewards are what make it worth it, you just have to wait for them :) Here's my list of 15 items that will TOTALLY happen to you if they haven't already and are TOTALLY normal so give yourself a break eh?
1. You will leave the Hospital and have no idea what to do...that's what google is for
2. You will go to the Pediatricians office w/ no questions, and be totally unprepared for her questions
3. You will wonder how you will ever have time to cook again
4. You will envy your friends without kids
5. You will think "maybe we shouldn't have had kids"
6. You will attempt homemade babyfood
7. You will try to take everyone's advice and somewhere along the lines you decide to disregard it all
8. You will think you look good (hey I JUST had a baby!) and then you see a picture and think...NOPE! Wow how that X-amount of lbs really does make a difference!
9. You will hate your husband...well hate is such a strong world, let me rephrase that, everything he does will BUG the shit out of you..."No you didn't read my mind that I wanted tacos tonight, I hate you"
10. You will google all of the following: feedings for baby, feeding amounts for baby, sleep times for baby, breastfeeding, pumping, weaning, fever, rash, cold remedies, how to play with a baby...I'm serious on the last one, even my Mom did it!
11. You will feel all of the following, probably on the same day and probably very often: overwhelmed, useless, helpless, judged, under-appreciated, stupid, out of the loop, alone, confused, sad.
12. You will need a peptalk every now and then-Thanks Jamie!
13. You will pee yourself the first time you workout
14. You will cry, laugh, curse, and be hungry very often
15. You will realize tomorrow is a new day and anything that happened today is out the window....thank god!
I just have to say Thank god for girlfriends! It's very easy to feel alone w/ your baby alot of the time...never really knowing if people are going through the same things you are, if they or you are normal...what's normal? Good to know that others are having issues in their relationships as first time parents, everything is an adjustment...and it will take AWHILE to get shit straightened out. We all know I am not a patient person so it really helps me to have girls nights every once in awhile to get it out, to hear others on their issues.. make me feel like everything WILL someday work itself out and we WILL be one big happy family again instead of doing handoffs of Drew while the other is home so we can get something accomplished that day. I think winter has really gotten the best of me this year, I really can't wait to take Drew to the zoo, walks, parks...I know he is still young but just to get out and see other people and kids...he loves watching kids! Hopefully someone will read this entry and have a sigh of relief...it's hard, it's the hardest thing you will have to ever go through and it takes a super strong person to just flat-out say: "hold on to your titties it's going to be a wild ride" instead of it's all the rainbows and lollipops..."Being a parent is just great isn't it??!" Hmm it has its' moments.
As far as Andrew, as he gets a little older his personality is starting to shine through and NOW I am getting some rewards! When he lays his head down on me...even for a second...it's pure bliss...seeing as how the kid never stops moving. When he falls alseep in my arms when I give him his bedtime bottle...it's pure bliss...When I walk in the door and he crawls toward me to greet me..it's pure bliss. And when I ask for a kiss and he looks at me (mouth opened?) and holds still for just a second so I can give him a peck...it's pure bliss. These are the moments when all the doubts and insecurities are whisked away and I think "maybe we are doing ok?" and these are the moments I wake up for everyday.
So hang in there!!! I know it's tough and I know you feel helpless and like you don't know how to be a good parent...it's totally normal! Enjoy your time with your children is all I can say :)
~Candace
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