Bath Time...not for the faint at heart.

So yea labor is scaring, giving birth is pretty scary...but giving your child a bath for the first time...now THAT'S Scary!! You just get your little fragile human home and now you have to make it all slippery and hope you don't drop it?? Well that's not fair, did you hear how I'm "rubber arms" from clutching the damn birthing bars? If you missed that post, it's HERE. So it was great that Matt was home with me for a week after the Hospital because I needed all the back-up I could get to gear up to wash this child.

At least the first few are "sponge baths" so you don't have to actually submerge them in water which is less scary. BUT if you got your little man circumcised you have to be careful of that hot mess AND of course the umbilical cord remains; which personally I find disgusting, especially when the Doc says "if it oozes it's ok" ummm like oozes Nickelodeon Slime? Or like oozes Grape Jelly, what are we talking about. Ha you experienced moms are probably laughing at me right now. I need the facts...some crap just isn't in the 45 baby books I purchased. So let's make a checklist of the things you should be careful of.

1. Don't snap their neck off while putting them on their tummy to wash their back
2. Do Undo the Diaper but leave it there since you don't need ANOTHER mess to clean up
3. They are going to cry...because they are freezing..because it's a sponge-bath and it sucks..have a Paci near.
4. Don't drench the umbilical cord since that shit needs to dry up and fall off.
5. Get some natural oil like coconut or something to rub their little bodies with...they are used to being in liquid all the time and then we put em in scratchy clothes and wipe off all their natural oils so give em a break! Plus according to my Aunt; who is a Massage Therapist, Massage is good for babies too :)
6. Dress that baby fast and extra warm for when they first come out, including a hat.

I put out a HUGE towel so I have some traction w/ that slippery wet thing and then their clothes right near. And when they are very small it might be easier to use your kitchen sink instead of a huge tub..that way you aren't bending way down when your business is still healing. And try to RELAX...it will make it a more pleasurable experience for you and the baby. Then once they start to get a little bigger bath-time can be very fun and a good outlet to wind down after a crazy day. What I want to know is...what is this and how do I get one?? I want to play in it, screw the kids! I've heard of some crazy battery operated toys for the bathtub...this seems like an electrocution waiting to happen...thoughts?