A Little Work Fun...well not really.

In my first post I mentioned I am quitting my full-time day job to be at home with my little boy more...lets touch on some reasons why I have made this decision..Enter Stage Left the CEO of my company...he is like an HR nightmare and a cocky sports jockey had a baby! The company I work for is small, under 50 employees however we have 5 department heads...hmmm that seems a little re-donkeyless..so potentially there is 1 department head for every 9 employees and that doesn't count Managers, Supervisors etc. So you can already tell shit is fucked. Not too long ago the CEO just decided to start working and become more 'present' in our companies day-to-day operations..normally he's down in FL "burning money out back" of his vacation home...that seriously is a quote I heard come directly from his mouth. Does everyone feel like they are underpaid yet? Upon his new 'involvement' we all started getting a slew of emails about crap that just pisses everyone off...he just rants and rants to everyone instead of picking out that 1 or 2 people that are doing some shizzle they shouldn't be. I have saved these emails because if I ever feel I am not doing the right thing I want a quick reminder! This one was sent on the day that IL had the below 50 windchill with severe winds and blowing snow. He decided to send this out Sunday night while everyone was enjoying what little was left of their weekend.

Happy New Year to everyone!!  2014 is going to be a year of growth and maturing for Company Name!!

My New Year’s Resolution is to not allow myself or any manager to act as a babysitter or immaturity manager and to expect professional and mature behavior from everyone who is a part of Company.

That will become evident in how I and how I will instruct managers to address tardiness and other unprofessional and immature behavior beginning Monday morning January 6^th.

I DO NOT expect to be sitting at my desk Monday morning at 8:00am and seeing multiple notifications of late arrival rolling in.  I expect that mature professional ADULTS will note the weather and road conditions and account for that, so they are able to arrive at work in time to start our day at 8:00am.  That or if anyone feels they are incapable of accomplishing that, they should submit a request for ETO to take the day off on Monday January 6^th . IF you are gong to take the day off Your ETO request should be submitted today.

I refuse to subject myself or any of our other hardworking staff to anyone who cannot arrive to work on time.   I will be personally addressing EVERY LATE ARIVAL NOTICE FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE STARTING MONDAY.

2014 is going to be the year of Professionalism, Professional Growth and big Bonuses at Company name!!!!

See you all Monday Morning!!!  

The subject of this email was "A New Year and a New Attitude"....so a lot of things come to mind when we all received this...well Jan 6th is 5 days past the new year...we have been working diligently this whole time..where have you been?? He says he doesn't want to be a babysitter however him "personally addressing every late arrival" would be babysitting, or adultsitting or whatever! and LOVE the spelling error...isn't this like an HR nightmare? If someone heaven forbid got into an accident because they got this 'scary' email couldn't you just sue the shit out of Mr. Knows all? I made it a personal goal to be late on Monday and I succeeded, a lot of people didn't show up, can you blame em? So come Monday and we get ANOTHER email...it just keeps getting better. Subject of this one...Working Remote and Attendance.

I am formally putting everyone on notice that in 2014 and until I determine to make a change to the policy, we will not allow or support working remotely. We cannot effectively and professionally respond to and deliver services when people are sitting at home. If you cannot make it to work then take the time off, you have that ability.

Professionalism starts with basic attendance behavior and for 2014, I expect professionalism from everyone at Company Name. I expect people to be here on time and to follow our standard process for notifying of an absence and requesting time off.

Our business hours are 8:00am to 5:00pm (not 8:something to 4:something) with a one hour break in the middle of the day. We all work hard and need a break near the middle of the day so get up from your desk and leave the building. Move around, take a walk, your mind and body need it.

I want to be writing big bonus checks this year and I will only be able to do that if everyone at Company Name steps up their productivity and produces the revenue for me to be able to issue bonuses.

For 2014 Company Name is a no whining, no wimps, take no prisoners, get it done environment. This is the year we hit the ground running and grow up. This is the year of professionalism and big bonuses.

So keep in mind I work with a lady who works STRICTLY from home...like that's what she was hired to do...he obviously didn't think of her when writing this email ...are you saying I am not a hard-worker and doing my job because I'm "sitting at home"...she was very offended to say the least. So basically from these two emails you can put together two things: 1. If you can't get to work on time-call off 2. Working from home not allowed.  We would rather not have any support for this company if you can't get here at 8am, yea that's how we operate, so deal! AND let me just add that these department heads work from home or on the road ALL THE TIME. Constantly getting emails saying "sent from verizon blah blah" so it's pretty funny how it's OK for some but not for others who actually run your company.

 Now let's address the "big bonuses" comment on each of these emails...so normally around Christmas we get some kind of compensation, nothing huge, well not for me anyway but SOMETHING. This year again we get an email; we are having a "mandatory holiday party" ok fine whatever I'll slit my wrists that day for sure....O wait it gets better. This mandatory meeting is AFTER HOURS, at some hole in the wall shit restaurant and guess what we are eating at 7pm on a Wednesday? APPETIZERS. I almost flipped my chair Jerry Springer style upon seeing the "buffet" of finger foods. THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT. Wait I'm missing time out with my boy for THIS? Good thing they had a cash bar and I had cash, otherwise shit would have gotten real. I proceeded on pounding beers while we listened to 3 department heads give speeches about how our company didn't have a profitable year and we are not receiving bonuses. HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE let me get my shotgun so I can end your lives. We couldn't get an email on THIS? The mood changes immediately you can see everyone plotting the deaths of our department heads in their minds. I start texting my husband that I'm going to set fire to this restaurant. I'm still baffled by why they wanted to do this in person and hey you could have saved yourself $50 by not having this little shindig and split that amongst us and I would have been happier. Needless to say a lot of us vowed to be unprofessional and immature and not attend next years "mandatory holiday party". Can you believe it? I would love to hear how your "Holiday Parties" went!

~Candace
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