We keep going back and forth about having another child...it's a HUGE deal. I am cool with one, I have always said I just wanted one from the very beginning. My husband on the other hand really wants our son to have a sibling..he had siblings but they were like half-sies so he never had that bond or connection that builds between the two so I totally get why he wants our son to have that. My brother is 8 years younger than me so we have a connection..but it's more like a Mother/Son connection that a Bro/Sis. I am constantly giving him advice whether he likes it or not...but sometimes we do surprise each other with that Bro/Sis connection. I introduced him to Fireball and he has introduced to me what life used to be like in your 20s. So it's probably the best of both worlds, while we never got in trouble together we have both lived through each others troubles. If that makes any sense?
But having another child is such a huge fricken deal and I'm having trouble getting past it. When Drew was like 6 mo old I thought "Let's do it!" Let's get this show on the road and I'll pop another out and we will be DONE! Then like 2 weeks later I thought completely differently and realized how much I enjoy Drew now...he's getting so "fun", a little more independant and SOMETIMES; a little more predictable. I really do enjoy him right now...the first 8 weeks not so much. I can make him laugh, he gives me weird little expressions and he smiles at anything/anybody. So it's great to take him places where he can be super friendly and I can show off the fact that we make cute babies.
Then I think; is it fair to split my time with another baby...do I HAVE time for another baby? I hear my friends talk about their kids which are very close in age and there are definitely two sides, One is that the older one becomes a little more independent since you are focusing more on the younger one..Two is after the jealous, "I hate mommy" stage there comes a sweet stage where the older sibling starts to show affection for the younger. As much as I would love the second, the first scares the hell out of me. Call me crazy but I want Drew to need me..I know he always will but I don't want him to start becoming super independent at a young age which my parents tell me that was my M.O. if I can help it all. I think the deciding factor will be when Drew comes home from school one day and asks for a sibling..How can you say no to that?
But the thought of getting pregnant, being pregnant for what feels like an eternity..then going into labor with all that jazz makes me extremely drowsy..and to think there will be no more mid-day naps since I will have a toddler on my hands suddenly makes me want to take all my Birth Control pills at once. So I think it will take quite a bit of convincing to have me cave in...even though part of me is like "you quit your job, get it done now while you can!". And what if we have a girl?! Oh my I might just go over the edge, girls scare the hell out of me, I remember how I was growing up!
Also I wonder if there is a service where when you have your baby you can send them off for like the first 8 weeks to be cared for...then you get them back when they are not having screaming bouts of gas, eating every 2 hours and no smiles or anything for you to base anything off of. I tell you those were the roughest days EVER...but now it's all worth it and I'm sure someday when he's taken the car out and has missed his curfew I might rethink that statement.
~Candace
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